Random ramblings over coffee.

Woke up to Wilson, sleeping between us. 

I get out of bed and look over the two guys in my life. 

I come out to see toys that didn't get picked up, and dishes that didn't get done. Maybe for some people that would be unacceptable, but for me, I just look at it and turn on the keurig. 

I hear a little voice, calling out to me. "Mommy, read book?" 

I go to see my daughter sitting in her crib, holding the hungry caterpillar. 

She's got the page open where the caterpillar eats all sorts of stuff. 

She says, "I eat cake!"

 *makes eating noise*

She is her father's daughter. She loves to make noises like him. 

We come out, and I go to fix my cup of coffee. I turn on the tv and our xbox one. 

We try to pick something for her to watch. 

She decides on Caillou. One of her favorite shows. 

I put some sugar and creamer in my coffee. I take a sip, and start to think about my grandparents. 

I think about how I remember how my grandma's coffee looked like mine. Creamy, tan. She used to let me take a sip, and would warn me, I probably wouldn't like it. She was right. I'd much rather drink her Five Alive juice. 

I look back over at my little two year old. 

I spend quite a bit of time, wishing it were nap time, or bed time, looking forward to when I can send them off on the bus, and have them learning at school. 

I know I should stop, because I think of the memories I have. And wish for that time back. 

What I wouldn't give, to be able to spend more time with those who are now gone. To share a coffee with my grandma, to hug her. To be able to see them once more. 

We can't though. The few memories, and time with those, I can cherish it, I can wish for more time, but I know, it is gone. And it won't come back.  

So today there is no wishing. Today, I just want to be present, and look at my two little crazies.  To hoard those memories, because I know one day, I'm going to miss and long for this.