Woke up to Wilson, sleeping between us.
I get out of bed and look over the two guys in my life.
I come out to see toys that didn't get picked up, and dishes that didn't get done. Maybe for some people that would be unacceptable, but for me, I just look at it and turn on the keurig.
I hear a little voice, calling out to me. "Mommy, read book?"
I go to see my daughter sitting in her crib, holding the hungry caterpillar.
She's got the page open where the caterpillar eats all sorts of stuff.
She says, "I eat cake!"
*makes eating noise*
She is her father's daughter. She loves to make noises like him.
We come out, and I go to fix my cup of coffee. I turn on the tv and our xbox one.
We try to pick something for her to watch.
She decides on Caillou. One of her favorite shows.
I put some sugar and creamer in my coffee. I take a sip, and start to think about my grandparents.
I think about how I remember how my grandma's coffee looked like mine. Creamy, tan. She used to let me take a sip, and would warn me, I probably wouldn't like it. She was right. I'd much rather drink her Five Alive juice.
I look back over at my little two year old.
I spend quite a bit of time, wishing it were nap time, or bed time, looking forward to when I can send them off on the bus, and have them learning at school.
I know I should stop, because I think of the memories I have. And wish for that time back.
What I wouldn't give, to be able to spend more time with those who are now gone. To share a coffee with my grandma, to hug her. To be able to see them once more.
We can't though. The few memories, and time with those, I can cherish it, I can wish for more time, but I know, it is gone. And it won't come back.
So today there is no wishing. Today, I just want to be present, and look at my two little crazies. To hoard those memories, because I know one day, I'm going to miss and long for this.