my world.

today I got to sleep in and when I finally got up my son was just an angel. I held him and cuddled him and he laughed and smiled as I held him.

I have been trying to play some videos with Andy in them so he could hear Andy's voice and see him. but I have been slacking on it. today was the first day in a while I had done it. Wilson stared at the screen and gave a slight smile.

I then started playing some of the videos of when he was first born. how amazed I am by him. how much he has changed. how the very first video I have of him he is pooping! haha.

Wilson and I watched them together. Me snuggling my baby and him probably not realizing who he is actually seeing on the screen crying.

I know I constantly marvel over how much I love him. I guess because I've never felt this kind of love before! How selfless it makes me, how I worry constantly over someone else instead of myself, how he is my world.

there is nothing like it and everyday I look at him, I know that that kind of love is something so special, that nothing else compares to it.

8 months old!

Yay to my baby being 8 months old now! Right now it is snowing like crazy. It literally looks like the inside of a snowglobe out there. It's cool and also depressing at the same time! Love looking at it, hate driving in it.

So looks like Mommy and Wilson will be snowed in today. I think his other tooth may be bothering him as he has been a little cranky today, and he keeps wanting to bite me. He'll grab my fingers and try to bite them and for some reason thinks eating my leg is also a good idea as well. Oh and when he tries to go for my feet. ACK!

I'm so ticklish in my feet I try to keep them away so he won't try to chew on them. But my little darling is taking a nap again right now so it's just me, looking out the window, watching the snow fall.

I can't stand this!

How will I ever be able to discipline such an adorable face like this? Seeing all of Wilson's little expressions just melts my heart. It's certainly not the easiest job but the best one I could ever have!

I marvel at how big he is getting. How he is constantly learning to do new things. They aren't even major milestones but little things you notice. Like how he holds his toys better, and how he balances himself while sitting up, how he loves to play with his duck in the bath, how he is babbling little baby noises, how he watches other people especially little children near his age.

Someday he is going to be walking and talking and his own little person! I can't wait to see it.

Happy 26th!

Today is Andy's 26th birthday. It is so sad he is spending it in bootcamp. This is actually his first birthday as a dad and he's celebrating it there. I know when we get older birthdays don't really mean so much but I imagine short of no one wishing you happy birthday or remembering ala "Sixteen Candles" this is another sad way to spend it.

There is really so much sacrifice deciding to be in the military. There may be many more birthdays missed, not able to spend together as a family. Can I handle that? I'm not so sure...

Growing up for me I always had small birthday parties. Since we didn't have family around I would invite some of my friends and get some presents and wear a pretty dress. Mostly I remember being excited about getting to eat cake and ice cream.

My korean mom was very good about having us eat healthy (well Korean food is healthy) so treats like cake, ice cream, and happy meals were not the norm.

While I might not be as healthy as my mom (since I cook more western food than korean) I wonder what my children's birthdays will be like.

Part of why I think I had small birthdays is that my mom was just not an American mom. She didn't make big deals out of birthdays or really holidays for that matter. My dad normally was the one who actually did all the holidays.

I remember one year for Valentines day he bought me and my brother a little heart shaped box of chocolates with like 4 chocolates in it. He put them on our bed on our pillows and told us that he had left a surprise for us.

I know I'm more like my dad in that sense. Even if it's little, I want to show my kids that I love them and hopefully will be able to instill some of that in them.

I can't wait to get to celebrate Andy's birthday by seeing him graduate! Even though I can't celebrate with him on his actual day of birth, I know that we have a lifetime of doing things like this with our family.

Teething.

Someone is definitely been cranky the past couple days and is definitely teething! I can feel the bulges where his top teeth are going to be coming in and I swear I think I can feel one of the edges poking out.

Phew.

I keep waking up expecting to see them but all I can see are maybe very faint little white spots. He doesn't let me really look around in there and for some reason doesn't like for me to try to feel with my finger. I figured he'd like getting the chance to chomp on it, but maybe his gums are too sore?

I haven't given him anything really, no teething tablets or orajel. But I sure am not liking this crankiness!

The other day I was pretty much over the whole thing. He had been awake from 1:45 pm. No nap at all and was just super cranky/fussy/monster baby.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the teeth bring. (sarcasm)

He went right to bed at 8pm though but almost 6 hours of non stop fussy baby can really get to a person. Phew!

I really need to learn to go to bed earlier or something. Wilson is napping right now so I actually have some time to fix dinner and relax. That is until he wakes up again! AHHHHH!!!

SLEEEEEP

Someone decided that they wanted to wake up at midnight last night. Woke me right out of my sleep! I haven't been woken up like that in a very long time! Wilson started sleeping through the night pretty well right around 12 weeks. If anything I would get woken up at around 5 am which isn't bad but still way too early! Luckily though I would normally be able to put him right back to sleep. So I'd get to sleep until 7am or 8am.

Last night though being woken up at that hour really threw me for a loop! I think I had entered that REM because when I woke up I felt very disorientated. Then it took me a while to fall asleep since I was wondering if he was actually asleep or not.

Then this morning he wakes up at like 6:45 am. UGH. No going back to sleep for mom.

That whole saying "I slept like a baby." has to be the worst falsehood ever! I don't want to sleep like a baby where if I move I wake up or waking up every couple hours. I want to sleep like I'm in a coma. Just out for a good 8-9 hours.

Sure some babies do that but not my son! He doesn't sleep badly that is. Just not as good as his mom. I wonder if as he gets older it will get better or if he will turn into those early riser kids.

I promise you I NEVER woke up in time to watch saturday cartoons. My mom would have to literally wake us up to get out of bed for school. Even now I still LOVE my sleep. In fact I want to take a nap but that probably would be a bad idea. Because my naps are like 2-3 hours long.

The sad thing is with all this sleep you'd think I'd be a nightowl but no. I go to bed at like 10 or 11pm. I mean pre-Wilson I was a bit more of a nightowl but even then 1am was my max. And if I slept til 1am that meant I was probably waking up at 10am.

Ahhh sleep! I love you!

Can you bounce yourself cranky?

Apparently for Wilson you can! He bounced literally ALL morning! It was crazy he was bouncing so loud you could hear his feet hit the ground and the jumperoo made tons of noise. He was super happy doing it just bouncing non stop.
Then it was time for some cereal and then a nap. When he woke up from his nap. MAN OH MAN! He just was not happy! He played for a little bit but it seemed like every little thing frustrated him. Got him down for another nap in the afternoon and then when he woke up from that nap he was even more cranky!

How is this possible?! LOL

I think.. he really must've out-bounced himself? How does one go from being super happy bouncing away to just cranky?

He went to bed earlier than normal tonight though at around 7:45 pm so I think all that bouncing made for a tired and fussy baby.

Still though, it was soooo cute seeing him bounce like crazy! He just recently figured out how to bounce really good in it so I imagine he is now working muscles that he hadn't before.

I have a video that I'll have to get on here to upload at some point.